Sensitively Strong

“I’m no fun!”

By June 30, 2020 November 24th, 2021 No Comments

Anyone else feel sometimes it’s hard to be open to laughter, fun, joy, playfulness?

This is something I’ve observed in my life over many years. I used to negatively label myself as “too serious” or “moany” (internalised from my past) and led to feelings of shame and insecurity.

When I came to understand and learn about my high sensitivity, I realised that part of this “seriousness” was actually my deep reflective nature and my need to think deeply about things. Also, it was driven my innate value of justice and sense of right and wrong, a core element of high sensitivity too. These are things that now I know are my gifts and biggest strengths and would never change them.

The piece that I have tried to adjust however is my inability to be open to love or happiness or laughter because I’m in a place of overstimulation. When I’m triggered, I step into fight/flight/freeze and my whole being constricts and becomes somewhat rigid. When we are in this state, we don’t feel safe but rather we feel threatened and so we can try to protect ourselves by controlling ourselves, others, or the environment in some way. Our brains are solely focused on what we need to do to restore that sense of safety. It’s like we’ve got blinkers on. So we can’t see or don’t feel able to embrace the moments of fun; because it’s counterproductive to our survival!

When we understand this about ourselves however, we can compassionately respond to our triggered self, and our need to be soothed. We are not flawed. We are not “too serious” or “no fun”. We are just triggered and overstimulated and in need of some nurturing. Once we respond to our needs, we can regain a sense of openness because our body and brain know we are safe to let go and laugh and have fun.

How is this landing with you?

Let me know in the comments below or get in touch if you need any support with learning how to regulate your nervous system and start feeling more open to the lighter side of life 😊